Intro: Why our NES boxes look like disaster zones
Game boxes are fragile little paper ecosystems. Leave them near sunlight, toddlers, mice, a washing machine or anything remotely dimensional and they turn into modern art — and not the intentional kind. The NES turns 40, so we decided to celebrate by pretending our imaginary collections were ravaged beyond belief and asking you to ID the ruined covers.
How this goofy quiz works
We took 21 battered, smudged and otherwise mangled bits of box art and asked: what game did this tiny atrocity once belong to? Below you’ll find the answers with short, snarky explanations — because we can’t resist making fun of our own pretend storage habits.
The mangled covers — answers and snappy commentary
1) Smudge that looks suspiciously like a hunting scene — Answer: Duck Hunt. Yep, that classic dog-and-duck image survives even when smeared.
2) A tiny chewed-up section with spacey boots — Answer: Metroid. Those boots belong to Samus, and apparently rodents are big sci-fi fans.
3) Sun-faded football blur — Answer: Tecmo Super Bowl. When in doubt and all you can see are shoulder pads, it’s probably gridiron.
4) Crayon scribbles courtesy of junior — Answer: Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers. Tiny hands + crayons = a heroic rescue attempt of the cover that failed spectacularly.
5) Water-streaked medical chaos — Answer: Dr. Mario. Only a doctor could diagnose that level of soggy damage.
6) Pixel-melted platformy goodness — Answer: Super Mario Bros. 3. Even when scrambled, that iconic Mario energy peeks through.
7) Folded into a makeshift fan on a hot day — Answer: Blaster Master. Cardboard fans are a terrible idea. Blaster Master’s cover didn’t deserve that.
8) Rat-gnawed yellow background — Answer: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. The cheese-colored backdrop got the nibble treatment this time.
9) Something got sucked into a treasure-obsessed vortex — Answer: Duck Tales 2. Treasure maps and ducks — the giveaway here.
10) Art-school smearing left only a mosaic remnant — Answer: The Legend of Zelda. That distinctive motif survives even when turned into a collage.
11) Only a tiny dino detail survives after sun-bleaching — Answer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project. Not everything on that list even belongs to the NES, but that little creature does.
12) A minuscule block and fireball left by picky mice — Answer: Super Mario Bros. Those tiny Mario bits are unmistakable.
13) Middle spared by years of cup rings — Answer: Contra. The central creature looks a bit xenomorph-ish, but the cover belongs to Contra.
14) Pulled through a multiversal wormhole and back — Answer: Punch-Out!! Featuring Mr. Dream. That referee/reflection is a dead giveaway.
15) A nibble reveals part of a looming castle — Answer: Castlevania. A sliver of a castle? That’s textbook Castlevania.
16) Crayons strike again, this time with fiery skyline vibes — Answer: Ninja Gaiden. Plenty of scorched-city vibes point to Ryu’s universe.
17) Only the tagline survived the carnage — Answer: Zoda’s Revenge: Star Tropics II. Nostalgic Nintendo taglines for the win.
18) Someone snipped a palm tree out for an art column — Answer: Kirby’s Adventure. Ignore the momentary tropical vibes — that puffball lives here.
19) Accidentally run through a wash cycle — Answer: Bubble Bobble. Those round, colorful buddies peeking through wet chaos are a Bubble Bobble clue.
20) Sun-warped waves and fantasy colors — Answer: Dragon Warrior III. Smooth out the ripples and the RPG cover shows itself.
21) A tiny golden logo sliver left after extreme nibbling — Answer: Batman: The Video Game. That black-and-gold hint seals the deal.
Scores, smugness and the leaderboard
Score yourself out of 21. If you got 0–7 you’re probably not secretly camping the NES resale pages at 3 AM. 8–14 is respectable — you know your classics. 15–21: you’re a certified cartridge whisperer.
Top finishers (sample): Exerion76, CasNicks, VGScrapbook, MikeJones and Munchlax — all clocking perfect runs in record times. If that’s not motivation to study damaged cover art, what is?
Parting notes
Our totally fictional NES collection is in rough shape, but hey — it made for a fun game. If this tickled your nostalgia, go bother a friend to see if they can beat your score. And maybe — just maybe — store your boxed games somewhere drier than the back of a toddler’s coloring table.
