Welcome to the sprawling, slightly chaotic buffet that is Total War: WARHAMMER 3. Below is a bite-sized, snarky guide to every playable faction you can command (or get stomped by). No images, no links, only pure factiony goodness and questionable jokes.
The Empire
Human army of gears, gunpowder and very serious mustaches. Think disciplined infantry, heavy cavalry and a nasty collection of cannons and steam-ish toys. Great for players who like balanced armies and the joy of watching artillery do the gossiping.
Dwarfs
Short, bearded, stubborn and packed with guns. Dwarfs excel at holding the line with tanky infantry and thundering artillery; slow but absolutely immovable. Bring patience, snacks, and a craving for well-placed cannons.
Greenskins
Orcs and goblins with a firm belief that charging is a life choice. Tons of savage melee troops and hilariously chaotic toys (giant slingshots, anyone?). They get meaner as the fight drags on, so expect loud war-cries and lots of smashed faces.
Vampire Counts
Undead aristocrats who prefer raising minions and letting spooky lords lead the charge. No morale? No problem — skeletons crumble instead of running. Play this if you want a creepy, lord-focused horde and dramatic fog effects.
Warriors of Chaos
Smash-first-legions with fancy horns and questionable hygiene. Pure brute force: heavy infantry, monstrous units, and shock charges. Strategy: point everything at the enemy and scream. Repeat.
Beastmen
Wild, fast, and delightful glass cannons. Beastmen ambush, sprint and try not to get stuck in long, boring fights. If you enjoy hit-and-run carnage and stampedes, this is your chaotic herd.
Wood Elves
Small armies of very skilled archers and foresty nastiness. They’re elite, mobile-ish, and love picking off fools from range. Great if you enjoy making enemies wonder where the arrows came from.
Bretonnia
Medieval knights, chivalry and lots of horses. Cavalry-focused and flashy in open fields; less thrilled by sieges. If you like dramatic charges and heroic standards, mount up and ride toward the sun.
Norsca
Viking-adjacent marauders who bring monsters and rage. Cheap but vicious infantry backed by beasts like mammoths and wyrms — think aggressive raids and warm blankets of gore.
High Elves
Elegant, versatile, and annoyingly good at almost everything. Small, elite armies with a balanced toolset: spears, archers, cavalry, magic and a dash of dragons. Play these if you’re into precision and style points.
Dark Elves
Sadistic cousins of the High Elves who also happen to be excellent at summoning monsters. Elite troops, cruel tricks and some frighteningly effective monstrous units. Enjoy sorrow and lightning-fast stabbing.
Skaven
Ratmen industrial revolution: hordes, weird steam-gizmos and bizarre weapons. They swarm, they explode, they surprise you with inventions that probably shouldn’t exist. Numbers + weird tech = chaos math.
Lizardmen
Dinosaur cavalry, jungle magic and rituals that smell faintly of ancient sunscreen. Strong frontline dinos and decent magic support; play them if you like prehistoric stompage with a scholarly vibe.
Tomb Kings
Bone-powered legions, construct monsters and regal mummies. They field durable constructs that do the heavy lifting while skeletal troops clog the battlefield. Ideal for those who enjoy slow, inevitable domination.
Vampire Coast
Pirate-themed undead with cannons, muskets and sea monsters. Ranged firepower is their hobby; deck-swabbing is optional. Perfect for salty sea dogs who appreciate volley after volley of muskets.
Kislev
Cold-weather warriors with hybrid units who can both shoot and smash. Think bear-riding shock troops, ice witches and a refreshing lack of subtlety. Great for players who like flexibility and freezing things dramatically.
Grand Cathay
Balanced and disciplined with a twist: Yin and Yang synergies that make units sing duet buffs. Lots of solid infantry, dragons, artillery and disciplined formations — a safe, satisfying choice for strategic perfectionists.
Khorne
The red-themed smash squad. No magic, no finesse — only brutal melee and overflowing rage. If you like charging headfirst and letting rage do the thinking, Khorne will approve with a skull-shaped nod.
Tzeentch
Master manipulators of magic and ranged mayhem. Spells, glimmering barriers, and tricky units that reshuffle the battlefield like a cosmic card trick. Best for players who enjoy setup, control and fireworks.
Slaanesh
Fast, flashy and devastating in a blink. Glass cannon troops that strike with terrifying speed, often from the flank. Expect graceful slaughter and a soundtrack of very intense violin music.
Nurgle
Slow-moving, disgustingly resilient and annoyingly contagious. Units take a while to kill and spread nasty effects, so attrition and patience are your allies. Great if you enjoy winning by making enemies slightly miserable for a long time.
Daemons of Chaos
A grab-bag of daemonic nastiness led by a very customizable big bad. Extremely flexible: pick what you want, field what you prefer and enjoy mixing bits of the other Chaos flavors into one terrifying cocktail.
Chaos Dwarfs
Grumpy, fiery dwarfs with infernal industrial toys. Heavy infantry, nasty artillery and enslaved meat-shields make them defensive and stable, but also delightfully corrupt. Good for players who like smoke, metal and controlled cruelty.
Ogre Kingdoms
Big, hungry, and excellent at hitting things very hard. Ogres bring huge single units that love charging and breaking lines; they’re not subtle, but they are effective — often because everything else ends up on the menu.
There you have it — a cheeky, quick tour of the factions that inhabit the Total War: WARHAMMER 3 universe. Pick your chaos, your cavalry, your cannons or your cursed zombies, then go forth and make a glorious mess. Want a deeper breakdown for any faction — playstyle tips, best lords, or overpowered shenanigans? Say the word and I’ll nerd out with you.
